


Shiver

by xLonelyDreamerx



Category: Jessica Jones (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Gen, I messed the timeline, It starts with Ruben and it ends with Kilgrave, Jealous!Kilgrave, Jessica is oblivious, Kilgrave is possesive and jealous, Let's blame Barry, Rated M for character's death, Ruben is a bit stalkerish, That's a bad combination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 10:11:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11872155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xLonelyDreamerx/pseuds/xLonelyDreamerx
Summary: It was love at first sightShe was a goddess; a beautiful, drunken, goddess.She was a million metaphors and all of them would be his undoing one day.Ruben/Jessica(one-sided) + Jealous!Kilgrave





	Shiver

**Author's Note:**

> Shiver is an unrequited love song by Coldplay which talks about a person who is in love with someone to a great extent; only, the person they love can’t see it at all.
> 
> I’m almost certain I messed up with the timeline, but can we just blame it on Barry? xD
> 
> This is my first story about a side character so I would really like your opinion of this. Also if you have a request, then tell me and I might write it, as long as it’s about "Marvel’s Jessica Jones"

 

 _So I look in your direction,_  
_But you pay me no attention, do you?_  
_I know you don’t listen to me._  
_‘Cause you say you see straight through me, don’t you?_  
_Shiver – Coldplay_

 _._  
_._  
_._

The first time he sees her is when he throws away the garbage; he had known for a while that another person would move on the fifth floor because he had been on friendly terms with the old owner, despite his twin’s wishes.

She stumbles, she’s drunk and messy and Ruben’s heart beats faster at the sight of her. She’s beautiful, with pale complexion that glows against the night, her hair look like they might have tangles and her full lips look like they might break from the cold (she’s not wearing any jacket, and he feels tempted to just give her his robe. But his sister would _know_ , she would _notice_. And Ruben didn’t feel like fighting with her so late at night) 

She passes him, and the first thing that comes out of his mouth is a quick “Hey”. The woman freezes and turns around to face him; she looks confused for a second as if she wasn’t sure he was talking to her.

“I’m Ruben, I live on the sixth floor, directly above you” He says with a smile, offering a handshake. Perhaps they could be friends (the previous owner was old and grumpy,) she wasn’t a young rose but she was certainly not old! She looked to be on her early thirties and Ruben could already envisage a friendship forming; going at each other’s apartments, movie marathons, dinners and game nights. God knows how long he had to interact with another human being for more than thirty minutes who wasn’t his sister.

Ruben understands the reason Robyn doesn’t like Malcolm; she is a little prejudiced and truth be told Malcolm _does_ look like a dangerous guy. But this one is a _girl_ ; she could be a companion to both him and his sister.

The woman looks at his hand and then back at him before she rubs her eyes and mumbles few curses that makes him blush and continues walking away.

She’s a beautiful drunken goddess, and with his lower lips captured between his teeth, Ruben wonders what her story is.

* * *

 

**OoO**

* * *

 

Her name is Jessica

Ruben learns this a week after seeing her

After a bit of research on the web, he finds out the original Hebrew name _Yiskāh_ , means "foresight", or being able to see the potential in the future. And Ruben cannot think of a better name that could suit her more. Her eyes are often lost, and occasionally she seems like she’s not really there.

She must be a dreamer

Ruben often fantasizes Jessica’s life (she left her overbearing parents when she was young – like he and Robyn did. She had a bad break up and moved to New York to start over. She was fired from her job and now looks for more opportunities. She’s a lonely soul who tries to find her place in this odd world)

Whatever the scenario is, Ruben knows he won’t find out anything… yet.

* * *

 

**OoO**

 

* * *

 

She’s often absent from home (he’s checking her from afar because _it’s_ _the right thing._ She’s a lonely woman in New York City, and if she had any trouble he would like to know). He has made a list of observations at his personal notebook (the one he tries to hide from his twin so hard)

  * _She doesn’t wear bright colors (that’s alright, dark goes better with her complexion)_
  * _She hates purple (I don’t get why)_
  * _She isn’t fond of Chinese (I tried to invite her the next morning after I saw her for dinner and she looked like she had seen a ghost)_
  * _She goes nowhere without her leather jacket and pair of jeans (or at least I haven’t seen her wearing a different outfit)  
  
_


  * _She wears her hair either down, or pulls them in a low ponytail (I wish she would pull them up into a bun, she has such a wonderful neck)_
  * _There’s high possibility she’s unemployed_
  * _She has a drinking problem (it’s as if her hand is eternally glued to a bottle of whisky)_
  * _She appears to be single (Yay!)_
  * _She occasionally helps Malcolm, which proves she’s a nice person (If only Robyn could see that)_
  * _~~I might have a tiny crush on her~~_



 

 God help him

* * *

 

**OoO**

 

* * *

 

 

His twin has always been the bane of his existence. Don’t get him wrong, he loves Robyn, she’s his other half, and he would be lost without her. He often thinks there is an invisible cord between their hearts and it is impossible to be apart from one another for too long.

However, roses didn’t come without thorns and God knows how many thorns Robyn has. She has always been possessive, stubbornly refusing to share him with anyone else (girlfriends, parents, friends). He had been okay with it for most of his life because he thought as long as he had Robyn he wouldn’t need anyone else. But for the first time, Ruben finds himself craving something else, someone else… So when Robyn calls the police and accuses Jessica to have opened a brothel due to the men Robyn has seen entering Jessica’s apartment (Robyn claims she even saw one man paying Jessica, but he doesn’t believe her) Ruben decides to lock himself inside his room and avoid Jessica at all costs.

 

* * *

 

**OoO**

 

* * *

 

More months passes…

 (Jessica had opened a P.I business and all these men were clients. She’s out there, helping people and Ruben accepts the fact that his crush on her is growing)

…and he has yet to see her

* * *

 

**OoO**

 

* * *

 

 

Eventually he decides to wear his big boy pants and make a cake for her  
(he used to cook with his sister all the time, but lately he and Robyn always seem to be fighting, and they have drifted apart which devastates him)

He inhales deeply and holds his breath till she opens the door. He feels his heart tightening at the sight of her; her hair is messy, her eyes half opened, and she smells like whisky. He tries not to look at her bare legs (she only wears an oversized shirt and her underwear. She’s barefoot) but it’s hard! She’s taller than him and she’s definitely even more attractive that he remembers.

His eyes meet hers; they’re tired and look sad

He raises the plate confidently, trying to hide his true emotions. He has rehearsed this all evening at home. “Do you like cake?”

“No”

She grabs the plate and closes the door on his face

By the time he climbs the stairs, Ruben is confused and feels miserable; on the one hand she took his food, and on the other she was abrupt and cold

He is conflicted and he doesn't sleep the whole night. He entertains his sister the whole morning before she orders him to pay the electrical bills. He dresses up with the clothes Robyn has pulled out for him and his foul mood doesn't change till he opens the door to leave; right then and there, on the floor, is an empty, clean plate.

There aren't any notes of gratitude and Ruben knows she probably won't thank him when she sees him, but he smiles. It's a start

He ignores the hysteric voice of his sister who starts questioning him when he returns back to the kitchen and puts the plate inside the cabinet

It is not the last time he cooks for Jessica

And it is not the last time she leaves the plate outside his doorstep

* * *

 

**OoO**

 

* * *

 

 

It becomes a sort of routine between them; Ruben would cook, Jessica would dismiss him as if he didn’t matter but would take the plate from his hands and the next morning, he would find it outside his door.

Days go by and Ruben knows his crush on her is growing

His sister, however, doesn’t share the same feelings. Robyn has become restless and is furious with him.

“You let her use you like a puppet!”

Ruben ignores her and continues making cake for Jessica. He wonders if she likes pasta but he wasn’t willing to take a risk to find out. If he tried something new there would always be the danger of going back to square zero, thus making another cake was a safe choice.

“And pray tell how she uses me?”

Robyn glares at him like it was obvious, “She uses you as a source of food! She clearly cannot buy anything other than alcohol so she tries to lure you in!”

Usually, he would back out but it was about time his twin remembered they are the same age. “Perhaps, I want to be _lured_ ”

She looks at him wide-eyed in dismay before she threw her hands on the air. “I knew it! I knew that pedophile would get you!”

Robyn froze and looked at his sister astonished; he knew she didn’t like Jessica but did she honestly have such a low opinion of her?

“I’m twenty three, Robyn, and Jessica is not a pedophile. She’s an excellent, beautiful woman with a brilliant mind. And close your mouth because you look like a fish!”

Robyn took a step back, the anger in her eyes vanished and was quickly replaced by hurt; it was the first time her brother talked to her like that.

“Can’t you just see how scared I am for you?” She wondered softly

Ruben looks away; the last time she looked so vulnerable was when he told her he wouldn’t stay with their parents, and instead he would follow her anywhere she wanted to go.

“You don’t need to,” He reassures her. “You’ve seen how she treats Malcolm, right? Last time, I saw her trying to get him back to his apartment.”

The softness from her features is gone instantly and she scoffs. “Being friends with the junkie is hardly a sign of kindness. Maybe Ducasse persuaded her to start drugs, and she became his ecstasy buddy! What if he tries the same with us? Ruben, you mustn’t talk to either of them again!”

Ruben waves his mucky hand carelessly, “Whatever you say, Robin” he says in a dismissive tone which causes his twin to look at him with narrow eyes.

“Have you already forgotten what you saw? What… _she_ can do?” she spat, and he briefly wonders whether she would stop giving him that loathing look.

 _Of course_ , he wouldn’t forget. He _couldn’t_ forget. While he was aware of the existence of people who had… abilities, he had never witnessed it until Jessica Jones grabbed his twin by her neck, raised her against their wall, and told them to keep their voices down.

Ruben never thought he could find her more exquisite, but apparently he was wrong. She wasn’t weak, sad, or defenseless. She was strong, and angry and _oh_ a true goddess Artemis.

_“I don't give a bag of dicks what kinky shit you're into. Just be into it quietly."_

Everything made sense now. Why she was alone, isolated by everyone else, why she never spared him a second look… Not only she was special but she had no one to share her secrets with!

This time he would make sure to point out that he and Robyn were siblings and not a couple like so many people easily confused them to be.

“How can you forgive her after the way that beast treated me?” She asked infuriately, her face becoming red from the yelling.

Robyn was hesitant, but he decided to say, “She was upset and made a mistake. All people do mistakes!” He protested gently, not wanting to make her think he was against her. “It’s part of growing up and we never really stop growing, do we?” His sister didn’t reply and he turned his back, closing the stove.

“Make sure cake doesn’t burn.” He tells to Robyn, wiping his hands. “I’m going to take a shower and then give these to Jessica.” He states with a dreamy tone which makes his twin’s blue eyes twitch.

As he headed to the bathroom he could hear Robyn yelling at him to stop being stupid and to finally-

“Stop the goddamn charity!”

* * *

 

**OoO**

 

* * *

 

 

The cake never made it because his sister never took it out. Robyn wore a smile of victory when he pulled out the ruined food, but it was wiped when he left to take a walk.

Had his sister always been so suffocating or was it only now because he was showing interest to another person?

As he made it down the stairs, he saw people rushing out and loud sirens could be heard. The last time this had happened was when Hope Shlottman killed her parents inside the elevator.

“A lot of guys leave your office on stretchers, huh?” He chuckles, finding funny that once again Jessica was behind it.

She doesn’t find him funny. She looks at him with a grimace on her face, and he gulps. “Sorry about the noise last night. But you sure calmed Robyn down.” Or better stated, scared the shit out of her “Not even our parents could do that.”

Her lips are now parted and she looks at him with surprise, “She’s your sister?”

 “We’re twins.” Ruben nods quickly with a smile, “Fraternal” He adds

Not finding anything interest Jessica looks back at the ambulance and Ruben notices her unfolding a piece of paper

 “You’re very strong.” He states in awe, not able to hold back his admiration. He doesn’t want her to think of him as the creepy guy from the sixth floor, with the odd sister, but he can’t help it.

Jessica glances at him for a second before going back at ignoring him and headed inside.

Ruben stands there, alone and disappointed. “ _You are strong_ ” He mimics his own voice with a sinister tone and it echoes as he walks inside the Corridor. “Stupid, stupid, stupid!”

His twin is right; he is so stupid.

* * *

 

**OoO**

 

* * *

 

The following days, he goes back at his ‘Jessica watching’ and adds more information beside his drawings of hearts with the two letters _R + J = hearts_

  * She’s very attached to her grey scarf (a present from someone beloved?)



 

  * She likes being alone (Note: does she feel like she doesn’t belong? Possibility: 10%)



 

  * People distract her



 

  * She has powers; one of them is strength (and oh she is so strong!)


  * She has someone named Trish (Sister? Friend? Lover?)


  * I’m in love with her



* * *

 

**OoO**

 

* * *

 

 

The next time he approaches her is surprisingly under his twin’s request.

He is hoping to get them to have a normal conversation that would lead somewhere but instead, he hears the moans even from the corridor.

Ruben closes his eyes and inhales deeply, trying to keep himself calm and not look like he was having his heart ripped out.

As he gets closer, he can see a man with black complexion screwing her against the wall like some hooker. It makes his blood boil; Jessica deserves better than that, she deserves dinners and flowers and to be treated and worshipped like a goddess.

Despite the pain, he doesn’t make a sound. He peeps from the half opened door, wishing for one more time to have been stronger; the man is taller and with a lot of muscles – Jessica would never pick Ruben over him.

Yet, he can’t take his eyes off of her face; he’s awestruck. She is stunning, with sweat running down her cheeks, and her moans sounds like music to him. How he wishes he was at the guy’s place.

Soon enough, Jessica looks up and their eyes meet; she pushes the man away with ease and Ruben scolds himself mentally: he really should stop being so surprised at the sight of her strength.

“Um, Robyn says you’re too loud.” He tells her nervously, glancing between her and the other man who wouldn’t stop staring at him.

With a sigh, she rolls her eyes and Robyn was once again facing her door that he had become acquaintance with rather quickly.

He was proud of himself; he made it through his apartment feeling numb and keeping his expression cool.

Once he locked the door behind him, Robyn got up from the couch and shut off the TV. “Thank God, you made her shut up!” She grinned with relief.

That was when he broke apart and the tears came.

Robyn looks at him in shock before she rushes into his side and he allows her to pull her into her arms.

She strokes his hair, and tries to south him with soft words; and once again he’s back to being a child: his parents are fighting, he’s scared and alone, and then Robyn joins him under the bed and holds his hand

He still has her, at least

And that is better than nothing

* * *

 

**OoO**

 

* * *

 

 

Eventually, things are going back to normal; and by normal he means Robyn curses Jessica even more (he knows that she knows Jessica was the reason behind his breakdown, but there was also something about the investigator that brought the worst side of his sister), he continues the same, plain, job, he and Robyn keep going at the bowling club every Saturday (Robyn is the queen of bowling), and Jessica keeps disappearing even more.

He’s losing her, no matter how much he tries to reach her. Nevertheless, he has become quite stubborn and is determined not to appear as the weirdo from above her the next time he see her (whenever that is supposed to be)

It’s Wednesday. He has a day off and he spends the whole afternoon cooking with his sister (he didn’t even realize how much he missed it until their cooking turns into food fight).

After eating and watching The Notebook for what seems like the hundredth time, Robyn falls asleep on the couch before he brings a blanket to cover her (the last thing he wants is for her to get cold). He contemplates taking her in his arms and tucking her in her bed but his twin is a light sleeper and he doesn’t want to ruin her peaceful sleep.

He returns back to his room and is busy with his beetle collection which he has been collecting for the past ten years. He is carefully cleaning his favorite green beetle when he hears a small thud from the living room. At first he think that Robyn woke up but when he hears more noise, he decides to let go of his precious collection and check it out on his own.

He moves slowly into the living room; it’s dark (he had switched off the light because his twin’s eyes are sensitive) and Robyn is still asleep. He shakes her softly at first, but when he has no response he shakes her harder.

“Robyn, Robyn!” he whispers persistently and she finally opens her eyes slowly.

She frowns at him, probably confused at his behavior, “What is it?” she goes to seat up but he holds her down gently

“I think I heard something-“

Another thud is heard, this time from the kitchen and Robyn’s eyes are widening and her face is now alarmed, with no more traces of sleep.

“Oh my God,” She’s terrified. She covered her mouth, and her eyes tear up a bit.

Ruben’s heart clenches and he strokes her cheek as an attempt to comfort her. “It’s okay.” The lie slept easier than he thought. If the person who broke in had a gun or any short of weapon then nothing was okay, but the sight of Robyn being scared was the worst in his world.

“It’s not okay!” Robyn hisses, glancing quickly at the kitchen.

Getting up from the couch, she goes towards the shelves where they keep their books and curio. She grabs tightly an object which he recognizes it as the trophy she had won the previous year in bowling competition.

Ruben follows her moves and also grabs something only to be stopped. “No. You turn on the lights so I can hit him.”

Ruben doesn’t like her plan but she has already moved, thus leaving him with no other choice than obey.

She mouths, "On three" and with his nod, they count:

1

2

3

Everything happens simultaneously: Ruben switches on the light, Robyn hits the person fast and repeatedly, something the figure had been holding falls and breaks, and the said person falls down and tries to cover his head.

Ruben recognizes him instantly and he runs at his sister, attempting to stop her. "Stop it, Robyn. Stop!"

His twin doesn't stop, but she hisses at him. "Call the police!"

"Robyn!" He grabs her arms and turns her body away from the man

Her hair is a mess, she's sweating and she's trying to catch her breath.

He turns his back on her and kneels down at the poor man who he recognized as Malcolm.

"What are you doing?" Robyn screams and freezes utterly petrified. "He could be a rapist, or a murderer!"

"Or our _neighbor_!" He cuts her off, before he looks at the guy. "Malcolm, are you alright?"

Malcolm looks confused and is high as hell. "What happened? Was that a little dude?"

"No that was my sister-" He tries to explain

"She hit me" He frowns and looks at the floor. "What are the two of you doing in my house?”

"This is our house!" Robyn glares from behind him and it doesn't escape his notice that she took a step back.

"Come on, Malcolm. I'll take you home" Ruben offers him a hand and once he gets up, he assists him by wrapping an arm around Malcolm’s waste while the man's weight falls all on him. "Let's go." He puffs as Malcolm’s arm is wrapped around his shoulder.

 _I should start going to the gym_. That's his last though before he takes few steps forward slowly.

He can hear Robyn murmuring how they should have called the police and she'll definitely take better precautions

* * *

 

**OoO**

 

* * *

 

  
Moments like these, Ruben wonders whether Robyn _is_ right; whether he _does_ let people push him around. Nevertheless, he cant’s just abandon Malcolm on the floor and go back home.

“Right foot, then left” He instructs as he helps Malcolm walk out of the elevator. He feels as if he’s ready to fall down (which perhaps he is) and grunts, “You have to use your knees! Yeah, that’s it.”

He hears something and he takes his eyes off of Malcolm’s legs; she stands right there: with a thoughtful look on her face as she observes them, leaning against her door. Ruben feels his heart skip a bit and he swallows. “Hey, Jessica”

For a moment he forgets that Malcolm even exists and just stares at her; she wears a long, thin tank top and her usual jeans. Her skin is pale as usual and her hair a mess. He looks at her hands and is hit by the memory of her strength.

Shaking his head, he snaps out of the trace and tells her, “Uh, he’s heavier than he looks. And he keeps listing to the right” He runs a hand through his hair only for Malcolm to stumble. He catches him quickly, and seeing Jessica still on her spot he decides to explain what happened.

“He came into our apartment by mistake” He pants, and tries to offer her a smile. “Guess I forgot to lock the door after I took out the trash”

She finally moves. And with a sigh, she comes to help

Malcolm looks at her as Jessica supports half of the body easily, which increases Ruben’s admiration for her. “The elevator went too high”

Jessica rolls her eyes and digs her hand into Malcolm’s pocket, looking for something. “You’re too high.”

Malcolm ignores her and touches his forehead before looking at his palm. “Am I bleeding?

 _Jesus_ “Robyn was asleep. I was in the other room with my beetle collection and I heard the door and then there he was.” He points at Malcolm who at this point doesn’t even try to stand. “Eating our peanut butter.  Robyn was so scared. At first she thought he was a rapist or something even after I turned the light on”

Jessica looks up to him and Ruben wants to melt right then and there. “It’s broad daylight”

He shrugs. “We have foil over the windows”

Her eyebrows furrows and she looks at him puzzled. “Why?” He opens his mouth to respond but she shakes her head and unlocks the door. “No. I don’t wanna to know.”

Ruben’s shoulders drop a bit and a sigh of disappointment escapes from him, but Jessica either ignores him or doesn’t care to even acknowledge him.

Malcolm sniffs and rubs his nose with the back of his hand as they enter into his apartment: “She hit me with a little man.”

 “It was a trophy”

Malcolm sighs almost sadly, “Of a little man”

“It was a little woman actually.” He tells him, not that it actually matters. “Bowling trophy. Robyn loves bowling” He interprets to Jessica and grins fondly with pride.”She bowls like a dream.”

“Am I bleeding now?”

Jessica throws him on the couch. “No, you’re still fine.”  She takes the key from the door and places them on the glassy table in front of the couch. “Your keys are here, now rest.”

Ruben takes a few steps back, giving her space to close the door.

“Robyn didn’t mean to hurt him” Despite her faults, his twin would never harm anyone. “I mean… I guess he’s kinda scary if you just wake up and you don’t know him and maybe you’re a bit racist. They say everyone is a little bit.”

Jessica blinks, “Everyone’s a little what?”

“Everyone’s a little racist.” He utters with ease. “Like if you see someone like Malcolm you make a snap judgment, you know?  It’s something to overcome.”

There’s a glint in her eyes and it is as if she looks at him for the first time. “Yes, anyone would make a snap judgment, huh?”

“Are the two of you friends?” He finally asks. It was something that had been eating him alive for a while now. Whether it was his paranoia, or his twin’s words he couldn’t help but be jealous of how easily Jessica could talk to Malcolm.

The glint disappears and Ruben already misses it. “I don’t do friends.”

Ruben knows this is a lie, but he doesn’t say anything out of fear of her leaving.

His fingers are playing with the fabric of his pants when he suddenly asks, “Do you like movies?”

“What” She frowns again, and it reminds Ruben of Batman; like the fictional character Jessica seems to always have an eternal frown on her face.

“Movies.  D-do you like them?”

Before she can give him a response, Ruben jumps at the shout of his twin. _“Ruben, why is it taking so long?!”_

He rolls his eyes as he turns around and shouts back, “I’ll be up in a minute!”

_“Be quick!”_

However, when he turns to face Jessica she’s already gone and he instinctively face-palms himself; even when she’s not in front of him Robyn always find a way to sabotage him.

“Next time…” Ruben muses out loud as he chooses to climb the stairs. “…I guess”

* * *

 

**OoO**

 

* * *

 

 

The next time he sees her, he doesn’t even know it’ll be the last time. He hears sounds of broken glasses and is thankful his twin is at work otherwise she would probably be complaining about the loud noise.

He doesn’t bother to shut the door behind him; he only grabs his phone and the plate that has banana bread as he rashes downstairs. It wouldn’t be the first time to be throwing customers out of her office/apartment but despite knowing her to be capable to beat a whole gang it doesn’t stop him from be concerned and worried for her safety.

He knocks her door repeatedly and eventually he’s met with her glare; she’s beautiful, even in her anger. He takes a peep and sees a lot of broken bottles on the trash can.

“What?!” She spats rudely, and for a moment she reminds him of Robyn.

“I brought you banana bread.” He smiles at the curious look in her eyes as she tries to see what’s under the covered plate.

The nerves are coming back full force. “I-I mean… I don’t know if you… um… even liked the cakes b-but-“

Of course she must have liked them; otherwise he wouldn’t be greeted with a clean plate, lying outside his door almost every day. However, it did cross him mind that perhaps she was trying not to hurt his feelings and threw away the food, before cleaning and returning the plate.

“Cakes are cool.” She looks bored and sound tired and without another word, she grabs the plate from his hands and sniffs him before she looks at him.

“It’s banana bread.” He explains, “I didn’t have all the ingredients for the cake and-“

She shuts the door at his face again. But he can see her figure eating from the new frosted glass she has put on her door and he beams, feeling utterly excited

He’ll bring her banana bread again next time.

* * *

 

**OoO**

 

* * *

 

 

He doesn’t know if it is karma, God, or just bad luck, but he’s unable to see Jessica the next following days; something always seem to be happening, as if an invisible force doesn’t want him to go at her apartment.

He knows he’s being ridiculous which is why he chooses to ignore the bad feeling he gets as he snatches up the oven glove from the kitchen sideboard and in measured movements pulls open the oven door with a rattling squeak.

Ruben inhales deeply and let the warm, fruity aroma wash over him. Underneath the body of the scent there is a faint nutty undertone, not too strong, he hopes. Pulling the tray out of the oven, he places it aside and cuts a slice from the porous bread.

Ruben takes a small bite and the familiar taste flows comfortingly through him.

“That is good,” he mumbled, chewing carefully.

He just hopes Jessica will like it as well.

* * *

 

**OoO**

 

* * *

 

 

Ruben stares at the darkened apartment beyond the frosted glass; the letters ‘Alias Investigations’ remaining inscrutable. He had spent several minutes in the mildewed corridor listening intently, trying to deduce if Jessica was actually out, or if she was merely in a drunken torpor. And if she was drunk, would she appreciate the gift of banana bread, or would it be wasted? If she was out, could he leave it here? Would Malcolm take it again? One of the times he had tried to leave something for Jessica, Malcolm had returned the plate two days later saying the cakes tasted like heaven.  Which was certainly... pleasant to know. Then again, he preferred to give the food on his own; to have the chance to look at her – if not talk to her.

Suddenly, he freezes

Beyond the thrum of the central heating and the faint knocking of elderly piping, the unmistakable sound of someone urinating. Ruben’s face scrunches as he concentrates; yes, someone was definitely urinating.

Ruben smiled excitedly; at least she was in, no chance of her banana bread being eaten by anyone other than her!

Ruben knocks. It is a polite yet pertinent knock, one that begged an answer. After several seconds absent of response he begins to wonder whether she didn’t want to see him.

He decides to give himself another chance and knocks again, louder this time.

A figure emerges from the gloom of Jessica’s apartment and stands for a moment, outlined against the deeper darkness. As Ruben moves to knock again, the door swings inwards and Ruben inhales a breath to speak.

The man is good looking, he notes. With a purple suit, black shiny shoes that Ruben bets must have cost a fortune, and perfectly sculpted hair, with dazzling cheekbones and deep dark eyes.

“Who are you?” He could be a client, but he seriously doubts Jessica would let anyone answer the door for her. “What are you doing in Jessica’s apartment with all the lights off?”

“The lights are off to suggest no-one is here,” the man spoke with an English accent, forcefully patient, but concealing coldness underneath his words, “And you couldn’t take a hint.”

“Because someone is here,” he says, as if it’s obvious, “But not Jessica?” The realization hits him; the man could be a thief, or a murderer, or a rapist, or an angry client seeking revenge (God knows how many Jessica had of these).

As the man kept starring at him with an odd look in his eyes, Ruben thought of his options: obviously, the wise thing was to leave. This wasn’t a social situation he was prepared for and Robyn would be furious with him is she found out he was talking to a stranger. Perhaps, he should just go, lock himself inside his room and call the police-

“Tell me. Who are you?”

He shouldn’t tell him. Obviously, if he belongs in a category of what he thought it made the guy immediately dangerous.  Nevertheless, his lips moved on their own record, and he replied without meaning to.

“My name is Ruben, I’m her neighbor.” He pauses, seeing him eyeing the plate he holds.

“I made her banana bread,” Ruben tells him, holding up the plate for inspection.

“Why?” There’s a genuine curiosity under the man’s carefully neutral expression.

His reply was easy to precise and instant. “Because I love her,”

Almost instantly, the man’s face darkened and the man’s neutral expression was gone before he could even blink.

“Shut up, step inside,” the man commanded.

 

Ruben stumbles over himself to obey, crossing the threshold into the apartment as his mind stops working altogether.

 

He enters inside Jessica’s apartment for the first time, and his fate is sealed.

 

* * *

 

**OoO**

 

* * *

 

 

He really should have expected it

And yet, Kilgrave was still disgusted by it

How could Jessica (lovely, naïve, Jessie) prefer this shithole over everything he was offering?

_Bloody hell!_

Other than the small size of the apartment, it was dirty, cold, and he could have sworn he saw a mouse while he was using the restroom.

He grinned upon seeing the photos in ‘Hope Shlottman’s file; and he ran his fingers over the small yellow note with the capital letters: _KILGRAVE_

A chuckle escaped him and he felt his lips curling up into another smile as he putted the files back to the drawer and moved towards the bedroom.

He grimaced at the sight of the broken bottles of alcohol; his Jessie certainly had the awful habit of drinking which he noted to fix when he got her back.

His eyes moved to the bed which was nothing compared to the beds he and Jessica had slept in, but it looked comfortable enough to rest, at least.

He stood there for a moment; frozen at the sight of the untidy bed (Jessica always left their bed untidy – not that he minded)

He could picture her sleeping right then and there. He had loved it when she slept. Hours when he didn’t have to tell what to do, and she would sleep soundly and all wrapped up in blankets that smelled like him. She adored him deep down, in her own record. He was sure of it. So was her body whenever he had fucked her.

It had been breathtaking to see the usual thin mask of tension which had always been visible when she was conscious, transforming and becoming relax and soft, with no lines of worry.

 Eyes closed, and body still, he could clearly remember running his fingers through her hair every time she slept. Her hair, fanned out on the pillow and as black as deep space, her grey eyes, two shiny stars and her smile which had been the sun.

He could no longer imagine a life in which she wasn’t there, giving him sunlight with her smiles and burning him with her eyes. No longer could he imagine enjoying life without her; everything was so boring without her in it, and he could easily dedicate his entire existence to that creature. And why not? There was no one like her, just like there was no one like him; they were the only two real people in this world that actually mattered.

She was being stubborn and melodramatic, he knew that. But he would make her realize the same thing that he did; no longer could they exist without one another.

He needed her because she was his other half. She constantly challenged him and intrigued him; he would never get bored of her, he would never leave her

She needed him as well – as desperately as he did.

Before him, she had been a diamond among trash. If it hadn’t been for his intervention, she would probably still be marching around New York City in cargo boots, pretending she should save people and be a hero for the greater good. As if being a hero had anything to do with saving lives and keeping the world safe. If that was the case, then he, himself, was a hero. He had saved Jessica from her self-destructive path and was keeping the world safe by getting rid of the useless.

A persisted knock snapped him out of his reverie, but chose to ignore it; he had made his mind up to leave his present on her bed so it would be the first thing she saw once she entered her room.

He smiled at the thought of it; the house would be their symbol of new beginnings, of starting over and-

He frowned at the sound of another knock; whoever it was obviously could not take the hint. Moving towards the door, he could see a short figure and with no second thought he opened the door.

“Who are you?” He was greeted with a sight of a weird looking boy who was holding a plate of food. “What are you doing in Jessica’s apartment with all the lights off?”

He pressed his lips together, trying to hold himself back from ordering him to do something that would cost him great deal. He was certain, Jessica would appreciate to learn he let her friend wander around harmless. She would be grateful. “The lights are off to suggest no-one is here,” He spoke with forcefully patient, but was unable to hold back from snarling a little. “And you couldn’t take a hint.”

“Because someone is here,” The boy said slowly, “But not Jessica?”

For a brief moment Kilgrave wondered if the boy was stupid, or merely retarded.  Seriously, did Jessica actually care if that boy lived or died?

“Tell me. Who are you?”

 “My name is Ruben, I’m her neighbor.”

_Ah, an annoying neighbor then_

“I made her banana bread,” The boy-named-Ruben told him, holding up the plate for inspection.

Kilgrave didn’t even look at the plate; instead he couldn’t help but stare at him with narrow eyes, full of suspicion. Of course, Jessica had the bad habit of not looking after herself at all (he always had to make sure she drank, ate, and slept long enough) but why did _Ruben – the neighbor_ even care? “Why?”

 _Ruben_ replied as if it should have been obvious to him. “Because I love her,”

Immediately, all the thoughts of letting Jessica’s neighbor walk away were erased at the sound of the four words. Kilgrave glared at him and stepped aside. “Shut up, step inside,” he commanded.

 

* * *

 

**OoO**

 

* * *

 

 

Kilgrave sat comfortably at Jessica’s chair behind her office, his legs raised on top of her desk as he casually ate the food Ruben brought for Jessica. It almost pained him to say it, but it _was_ good.  However, despite the boy’s good cooking skills he couldn’t help but eye him with envy; surely, Jessie couldn’t have left him for _that_!

Perhaps, Jessica was using him to help her? He knew his girl had a manipulative side. “What do you know of me? Tell me, now.”

“I don’t, uh, I don’t know anything,” Ruben muttered. “You, uh, were breaking into Jessica’s apartment?” he answered, wincing. “Are you one of her clients?”

The pause filled the room, silence which begged an answer.

Kilgrave leaned back into the chair comfortable; it gave him a thrill knowing he was in contact with things that have been touched by his Jessica. “So you _don’t_ know anything about me, you aren’t anyone special. And yet you love her.” He wasn’t surprised at that, Jessie was a breathtaking creature but the million dollars question was “Tell me, does she love you?”

If Jessica loved this Ruben (he knew she didn’t, she wasn’t blind!) then he would have to recreate all his plans. While a love interest was a threat, it could provide him a great advantage.)

“I don’t... I don’t think so. I want her to, but I don’t believe she does.” he replied, looking like a kicked puppy.

Kilgrave took a deep breath and tried to hold a straight face, but he was turning red trying to hold back the laughter, and when he couldn't hold it any longer he burst out laughing, delighted at the boy's misery

“Well,” He drew out the syllables of the word, his tone similar to one that belonged to a judge who was considering a sentence, “you are useless to me then.” He pretended to look sad for a moment before he grinned, holding his point finger up in the air. "But you don’t have to be forever!” He clapped his hands together, excitedly as the idea started forming inside his head. “I have a way to make you very important to Jessica. You would like that, wouldn’t you?”

Kilgrave could see the wheels turning inside the boy’s head as he nodded slowly.  

 “I want to be important to Jessica.” Ruben stated with longing in his voice, and Kilgrave couldn’t help but raised an eyebrow at him, inquisitive.

“Excellent! No time is better than now!”  

Kilgrave got up and headed towards the kitchen. Once he found a knife of his choice he returned and handed it to Ruben; it was big and sharp – perfect.

“Tell me, since you know a lot about cooking, is this knife sharp enough?” Kilgrave questioned and got a nod in return. “Now, I want you to go through Jessica’s bedroom, and lie down on her bed, I want you to slit your throat open very slowly, without making any sounds.”

Before Ruben could take a step at the direction Jessica’s bedroom was, Kilgrave stopped him for a moment, gripping his arm like a vice.

“That will teach you, for loving someone who belongs to another.” Kilgrave let him go with a cold smile.

“Oh, and Ruben!” He called out as he started to search for a new spot to leave his present.

Ruben paused and waited

“Don’t forget to smile while you’re following my orders.”

Ruben nodded and left without another word.

 

* * *

 

**OoO**

 

* * *

 

 

Kilgrave sighed blissfully as he shut the door of Jessica’s apartment, feeling like he truly had moved a step forward, a step closer to Jessica.

They would live in her old childhood home for a while, and once he was sure she fully belonged to him he would take her anywhere she wanted: London, Tokyo, Paris, Milan, Athens. They were always the happiest away from New York City. With first class plane tickets and five star hotels rooms and three-michelin-star restaurants, they would begin a new journey in the world that belonged to them.

He would make sure she wouldn’t leave him again this time. It was simply impossible for him to relive the pain of her dereliction.  He had already forgiven her, and in time Jessica would learn to forgive herself.

She was Delilah to his Samson, the Helen to his Paris, and the Eurydice to his Orpheus. Jessica Jones was a million metaphors and all of them would be his undoing one day. Together, they would become once again the lovely team they once were. They'll fit in from one place another, because the world is made for them.

He will destroy everything in the entire bloody city if that’s what it’ll take for her to understand that they belong together, that they are fated.

Him and her.  Always

As for now, he will have to remain patient, and wait for her…

… at their home

 _._  
.  
.

_I’ll always be waiting for you,  
So you know how much I need you_

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it and understood the meaning of the metaphors Kilgrave used; Delilah was a seductress who was Samson's downfall, Helen who was considered to be the most beautiful, was abducted by Paris and was the reason behind the war, and the last one is tale of a desperate love, Eurydice vanished forever, even after Orpheus tried to save her
> 
> Please comment down below and tell me your thoughts: they’re precious!


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